theonlywayismelbourne

Blogging from Down Under

Arrivals and Departures

Let me tell you about my sister.

My big sister is beautiful, strong, brave and has the biggest heart of  anyone you could ever meet. She also has an inner strength that she doesn’t know she has but I always knew was there. And no more has she needed that strength than over the last few days.

As I write this my beautiful brave sister is undergoing an emergency C section having already endured a gruelling 50+ hour labour. I am sitting here feeling completely and utterly useless wishing I could do something to help, but instead I am watching my phone like a hawk, willing it to light up and tell me something yet jumping every time it does because I am afraid what it might say.

To say I have mixed emotions at the moment would be a not so small understatement.I am scared for my sister, after all this a major operation, but I am also happy that very soon this pain will be over and she will be holding a beautiful baby in her arms, she is going to be a mum, make me a (very cool obviously) Auntie and make a little cousin for my little bear.

I have run the whole gambit of emotions over the last few hours to be honest, but, there is one other emotion that I am feeling, after all the slight difference in my situation is that in just a few hours time I am going to be boarding a plane to go to the other side of the world. Talk about your bad timing!

The other emotion?

Guilt

Guilt that I won’t be able to stay to help my big sister after the birth, guilt that I want to stay when my husband is already in Oz and has been since April and to stay would mean  keeping our own little family apart even longer and depriving him of seeing his own little Bear , what right do I have to do that? Guilt, guilt, guilt.

So I am sat here, watching, waiting, feeling worried and guilty and knackered and excited and miserable.

But hopefully soon there will be a safe new arrival, and I don’t mean me in Australia.

But that too!

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6 thoughts on “Arrivals and Departures

  1. Hope your sister and the little one are ok, I’m sure they’ll both be fine after some much needed rest. I know what you mean about the guilt thing, I miss my 2 little nieces terribly and having had a baby recently too I also feel guilty about him not growing up surrounded by family. But then if I wasn’t feeling guilty about that I’d be feeling guilty about something else – I don’t think you can ever win whatever you do in life. It’s not the same as being there but a good internet connection and lots of skype calls help a bit.

  2. Thankyou, your right I suppose we always find something to feel guilty about. Thank goodness for the internet.

  3. she’ll be fine, i can be gina xxxx

  4. Aw Rhian, sometimes life deals out some difficult situations and it is these times that make us and those around us stronger. Your husband is waiting for you, your little nephew has arrived safely and your sister is going to recover and love being a Mum to him. He will be a little sunbeam to your Mum and your family who will miss you so much, and just having him around will help to fill the gap you and little Ollie will have inevitably left behind. His difficult arrival probably made your departure more bearable because all those important and special people in your life were having to think about your sisters health first and foremost. Everything in life happens for a reason.

    So don’t feel guilty, don’t feel remorse or sadness. Feel happy and excited to see Stephen and start your new life down under with little Ollie. You will meet lots of new people, maybe catch up with some old friends too and skype is free!

    Love – Aunty Sue xxx

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