Dude! Where are my pants?
Have you ever had one of those days, you know what I mean? where everything that could go wrong does?
Today, I had one of those days, I’m still recovering from it truth be told.
It started off rather innocuously, like any other Thursday.
On Thursdays I have a routine of putting the Bear in the creche at the Msac gym at 9am, then rushing off to body pump class at 9.20 then once thats finished, rushing back down to the creche to pick up the Bear before rushing over to the changing rooms to rip mine and the Bears clothes off v quickly whacking on our swimsuits to then rush over to our swimming lesson at 10.30am. It is a bit hectic but I usually make it.
Today was no different, I did my usual rushing and arrived slightly late for swimming class by 2 or so mins, it would seem that as punishment for my tardiness I was to be ignored by the entire class for the duration of the lesson. Besides the ignorance of the rest of the class which was odd enough, this week the teacher decided to do something a little different from her usual sing songs and repetitive class routine, this week she decided to initiate a game that would set child against child in a desperate fight for survival. She basically shouted ‘go’ and threw her bucket upside down in the middle of the pool and the kids had to launch themselves at the toys (and each other) to get one, there weren’t enough toys to go round so it was every man for himself really, which meant lots of determined parents rushing forward, pretending it was their child that was desperate to get a toy rather than themselves. There was a bit of head banging, a lot of dunking and choking but eventually
I the Bear emerged victorious from the melee. Go team Bear! They weren’t talking to us anyway what did we care!
So class over, we rushed on over to the changing rooms again as today we were due to meet some friends for lunch at 12.30pm, which was a little tight but I thought we would make it. I had checked my (non existent in-car) Sat Nav on my iPhone and it stated it was a very direct route that would take me 6 mins. No worries I would get there with time to spare. I didn’t bargain on the Bear totally flipping out in the family cubicle changing room though, screaming at the top of his lungs until I decamped us to the communal changing rooms, to stop him having some form of claustrophobic melt down. Communal changing room was a big mistake, big, Huge.
I just about managed to dress him and began drying myself, what I didn’t bargain on was the speed at which he could run out of the Ladies changing room and right into the middle of the Mens changing room before I caught up with him! I chased him out of the changing room pulling my swimsuit straps back up just about in time to preserve my modesty, until I finally managed to bring my wayward child to order.
In the middle of the Mens changing room.
I tried to shield my eyes, apologised profusely to all the men in various states of undress and frogmarched my child back to the ladies! (BTW Aussie men are very athletically built! Just saying!)
This time I clamped child between my legs and set about getting dressed, searching my bag for my undergarments, then searching again, and again, until finally emptying my bag completely of its contents, all to no avail. I had only gone and forgotten my pants! You know . . . ‘pant pants’ , the more uncouth amongst you may refer to them as ‘knickers’, I, however, am far too refined for that so for the purpose of my post they are ‘pants’.
I realised my gargantuan error and saw my carefully laid plans for the day unravelling.
I obviously couldn’t go to lunch ‘sans le pant’ so I got dressed as best I could and rushed out to go home and change before my lunch date. (did I mention it was only 6 mins by car, so it would be fine). Now on any other day, I can always get a parking space on my street, but not today, today next door neighbour had chosen to park her Monster Truck very badly meaning I had no space to park MY Monster Truck so off we drove round the block again to find another space several streets away!
I showered and changed at home, the Bear power napped and I got us all ready to go.
So to the nice simple route to the restaurant, I drove there found the street, brilliant, there was even a car park right there, I parked up and made my way onto Acland Street, I asked a nice looking man which direction I needed to go for the restaurant, only to be told that I was miles up the road on the wrong bit of the road so my best bet would be to get back in the car and drive round past Luna Park and the restaurant was on that part of Acland Street. Duly I paid my $4 parking fee for my 30 second park and off we went, round Luna Park we went, oh and again, . . I must have driven past the stupid place at least 5 times in my quest for the non existent restaurant, I started to get a bit panicky when I found myself on St Kilda Road with the empty petrol tank light on. Bugger it.
I thought about giving up and going home, I really did, but no! I am better than that, I am no quitter, there were expectant (hungry) friends relying on my quick wit and banter to make their day special. I just couldn’t do it to them!
So through sheer will, I got there, an hour late but I got there, I have no idea how I got there and I probably wouldn’t be able to do it again, but I did it.
Lunch was good, food nice, good company, staff rubbish but thems the breaks.
Now on to the story about my journey home with no petrol. . . .