I thought they were chives!
Ok, so it has taken me a while to pluck up the courage to write this particular post for a number of reasons, not the least of those reasons being the fact that I feel like I am about to vomit every time I think about it. However, I am going to put aside my squemishness and soldier on, and for the good of you my dear dear reader I will tell you my story, in the hope that it may stop you from making the same mistake I did.
Now, where to begin? Well I will start at the beginning . . . .
At the weekend, I was feeling a bit like a culinary genius so I decided to make the family a delicious tuna pasta bake (tpb). Now I want you to understand, that this was no ordinary packet mix tuna pasta bake, this was made from scratch, all fresh ingredients, Celebrity chef Gino D’Campo’s recipe no less! no skimping for us you know.
All went well in the preparation of my delicious meal and said meal was enjoyed by the whole family (well, myself and husb, I think I put a bit too much parmesan and paprika in it for the Bears sensitive taste buds). That said it was a lovely meal and as I had made enough to feed an army, I thought I would save the rest and we could have it again the next night, as husb would be late home from work so it would save the effort of cooking. You know the drill.
We went to bed tpb was saved for the next evening and all was good with the world.
Fast forward to husb arriving home on Monday night, he had cunningly timed it so that I had just put the Bear down to bed and sat down with a cup of tea when in he walked fresh from his 5 a side football victory, (10 – 4 don’t you know, I am very proud of his athletic prowess). Glowing with his success (and sweat) off he went to have a shower and up I got to prepare our meal.
Into the fridge I went, removed oven dish and the foil covering it and wacked a massive slab in the microwave. I went about my wifely duties in the kitchen while the microwave did its thing. I was very hungry myself and decided to have a bit of the cold tpb, so I cut myself a rather huge piece and chomped away on it while sorting stuff out. It was actually quite nice cold, I thought, maybe I will have it cold for lunch tomorrow, and down came husb settling himself down on to the sofa, readying himself for his carb fix after his exercise.
I went into the fridge to get us some veggies to go with it when I spotted something on the shelf of the fridge were the tpb oven dish once was. I looked a little closer,
What. Was. That?
On closer inspection, it was about 3 million . . . . .
I am not sure if they were dead ants or frozen or what but they were definitely ants. Obviously I had a little freak out and husb was despatched to the fridge to clear it all out. Gross!
But it’s not over . . . .
Husb in his infinite knowledge advised that they must have got in with some food that was put in there, there was no other way they could have found their way in.
But, what could it have been? I turned to get the plates ready for the tpb, and went to move the oven dish,
I looked again
Then I screamed
Then I tried to vomit
For there in the empty part of the oven dish were last nights portion had been was a graveyard of ants, silent and still, stark against the white porcelein of the oven dish. Further inspection revealed that they were not just on the dish but were in fact scattered all over my delicious culinary masterpiece.
All over everywhere . . .
The freshly sliced bit I had just eaten cold? Oh yes!!!
How could I not have spotted the million+ ants all over my food? Seriously how gluttoneous does one have to be to not see them?
I can never look at a chive in the same way again.
R.I.P million + ants.
Now, let us never speak of this episode again.
Nb. Landlady is sooo paying for the ant terminator.