theonlywayismelbourne

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Drunk and Disorderly

This weekend had its ups and downs.

Friday night we went out for dinner for my fast running friends birthday, it was very nice, great food and lovely company, we were even out past 12am get us!
Obviously 1 night out at the weekend was just not enough for myself and husb being the social animals that we are and as we had a friend over from UK who had kindly offered to babysit the following night, despite the fact I could have happily just lounged on the sofa with a cup of tea snuggled under my ‘slanket’ we were all over it, 2 nights out on the trot just call me Kate Moss!

We decided to go to this cheap and cheerful pizza place on Fitzroy Street called Topolinos which had been recommended to us. The food was nice but unfortunately I wasn’t quite in the mood for it as just before we got to the restaurant we had a chilling encounter with some of Melbourne’s less desirable elements.

The taxi we ordered didn’t arrive so we had to drive to the restaurant instead. Husb had been drinking already so I drove in the Monster Truck in the pouring rain, (when I moved to Melbourne I did not sign on for all this rain).
As we neared the restaurant I thought I had found the perfect parking space just outside the restaurant but when I pulled in I saw the no parking sign. Not wanting to get yet another parking ticket I attempted to reverse so that I could manoeuvre myself to a position to turn into the road were the car park was which I should have just parked in in the first place as it would have saved me a lot of stress and panic.

However things are never as simple as that in my world, obviously, this is me, things never go to plan. . . .
there was a large group of very drunk/high on drugs men congregating around the monster truck.
As I was attempting to reverse the truck, they kept stepping into the road right into my path and generally being very rowdy, so I couldn’t move anywhere.

Under husbs tuition I made sure that they had moved over to the side and began slowly reversing the Monster Truck in case one of them made a sudden lurch into the road.
All was going ok until suddenly one of the fellas bashed the side of the Monster Truck, and started shouting incoherent profanities at me, while coming round to the drivers side of the car. Egged on by his drunken/druggy mates he continued to shout and they all got involved shouting, banging the car and hollering.

I have now realised on reflection that I don’t deal well in situations such as these and my mind went completely blank. I did something similar when I got stopped by the police and I seem to lose the ability to make any rational decision or do even the most simplest of things.
Husb kept telling me to lock the doors but I couldn’t find the lock, then he told me repeatedly to
“drive,
Drive,
DRIVE
babe GO, NOW“!
so I duly slammed the car into gear and floored it to get the hell out of there.

Problem was that I forgot Monster Truck was an automatic and in my panic to chuck the car into 1st gear in order to screech off, I instead threw it into park and just revved the engine very loudly but stayed exactly were we were. Which only served to annoy drunken/druggy louts further.

Eventually after what seemed like hours I managed to get my arse into gear and off we shot, with me in a cold sweat and almost crying with fear, and lots of beeping of horns in our wake!

This is not the end . . . .

Unfortunately as the restaurant was back were the naughty men were I had to U turn and go back to where we had come from, which I was not happy about but husb made me. We pulled into the car park very near to were the men still were and as I was waiting for husb to pay the parking meter, I sheltered from the rain under a tree, willing husb to get a move on.
I think it was probably the rain or the sound of my heart pumping 6000 beats a minute in my ear, but I didn’t hear the man come up behind me until he was right there in front of me slurring at me.
He said something along the lines of ‘ I had run over his foot’ which was why they were shouting. I apologised profusely again and again not knowing what else to do, acutely conscious of the fact I was hemmed in on all sides in the dark under a massive tree with a car blocking my escape route and a very dodgy intoxicated man much too close for comfort. While husb was still at parking meter paying the $10 parking ticket with 5cent pieces I think as he took that long!

Anyway drunk/druggy man said some more unintelligible stuff and then wandered off into a dark dodgy looking alleyway, not a limp in sight, pretty nimble on his feet for someone who had supposedly had his foot run over just moments ago.
I think I would have felt something if I had actually run over his foot and I think even through his haze of drink and drugs he wouldn’t have been able to walk quite so nimbly.

So off dodgy man wandered, husb finally came over and into the restaurant we went. I ‘enjoyed’ a slightly salty pizza – thats what you get when you get pesky tears on your food.

That’s the thing about having kids, I wasn’t in the mood to go out in the first place, my horrendous experience meant I just wanted to go home after that, but no we stuck it out, we had a babysitter we were going to damn well make the most of it!

Fitzroy Street on Saturday night should have a DO NOT ENTER sign on it.

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6 thoughts on “Drunk and Disorderly

  1. coloursofsunset on said:

    Oh Rhian! I clicked on this thinking it would be a funny story of YOU being drunk and disorderly, this story truly scared me! Good on you for sticking it out, but I’d have driven away and never looked back! Must have been so scary! xo

  2. I did try to, to be honest, I was in no mood for going back but husb made me. Its all his fault! Definitely won’t be going back there in a hurry though no matter how nice the pizza was.

  3. Stephen Eyre on said:

    drive, Drive, DRIVE, babe go NOW

  4. Glad you find it so funny! I was traumatised. ;-(

  5. Bloody hell, that’s scary! Don’t blame you for wanting to make the most of a night out sans kids though. I’d be EXACTLY the same!

  6. It did take the shine off the evening somewhat thats for sure, they put us at a table right next to the window as well, so I was stressing the whole time that they would walk past and start banging on the window or something.

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