theonlywayismelbourne

Blogging from Down Under

Note to self – Tidy up my knickers!

This Friday was husbs work Christmas Do and unlike every other year when I am told politely yet firmly that partners of any kind are absolutely forbidden from attending, this one was a little different in that finally I could break free from my dutiful wifely shackles and attend the Christmas Party.

The reason for this change was twofold, firstly the office in Australia is very small consisting of around 15 people so the partners boost the numbers and secondly which is most likely to be the reason; as I go into the office sporadically husb could not pretend partners were not invited to this one (not that I am suggesting he has been economical with the truth on previous occasions of course) as colleagues would ask in conversation if I was attending he couldn’t really keep this one quiet!

I was very excited about it and also nervous at the same time.
Excited because I don’t go out – like ever! (Well obviously if you discount when I went out 2 days earlier with my Muddy Melbourne Girls and when I went out a few weeks ago with fast running friend and then the time I went out with husb for our anniversary but that doesn’t count. Like I said I NEVER go out.
Nervous because this wasn’t any old night out this was the first works night out I have been on since moving here and the pressure to have a good time, make a good impression in a social setting and not get too drunk and make a fool of myself and husb was immense.

So with this pressure on my young shoulders I set about getting ready for the big event.
Husb had to be at the office early so that the team could do a surprise activity together (to be taken in a very cool stretch Hummer)

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and then the partners were to meet at the venue for the meal at 1.30pm. Now getting ready for a night out at the best of times takes me a while, but attempting to do it while there is a small child attempting to eat my (switched on) hair straighteners, takes this to another level and of all the times for stuff to go wrong in the house, today had to be the day. Trying to entertain a small child at the same time as teasing my hair to perfection (which ended up being pointless as it was chucking it down so I arrived looking like Monica ‘its the humidity’ from ‘friends’) meant it was a losing battle.

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Anyway back to the story.
I had just stepped out of the shower, towel on, wet hair, no makeup about to begin the tanning ritual. As I washed my hands the tap decided that was the moment it would choose to refuse to switch off. Rather like the door incident when I first arrived it would not switch off. I wrenched at it, pulled it, tried pliers everything but it just wouldn’t budge. I must have been there for a good 15 mins in just a towel with dripping wet hair with a small child using the bed as a trampoline while repeatedly shouting “door” (his word of the month) fighting with the hot tap, all the while the minutes ticking by on the clock.

What could I do? I couldn’t leave the house for who knows how long with the hot tap gushing could I? I really didn’t want to get our landlady involved as I knew she would worry and there would be no way I could get to husbs party on time. I decided on switching the mains water off, except I didn’t know where it was and when I finally found it some 10 minuted later, I had to enlist the services of next door neighbours English dad to come and yank it, all while landlady hung around watching over everything with an eagle eye. Did I mention she lives across the road and came to see why I was standing in the garden with only a dressing gown on!
I was a bit perturbed when she insisted on coming upstairs to the en-suite to see what the problem was and I ran upstairs ahead of her hastily chucking my lady pants under the bed and sweeping up husbs boxers. My mortification intensified as the Bear ran around the bedroom taking great delight in scooping them up and running up and down the landing with them. Oh the shame.

Anyway, tap temporarily fixed, the Bear and I legged it round to my friends in the rain (looking good if I may say in my flipflop, floaty skirt, bright pink macintosh combo- the coat didnt make it to the do). So that I could drop him off and be on my merry way.
Arriving seconds before my taxi, I garbled a list of unintelligible instructions while asking for shoe advice and I was out of the door on my way to my night of freedom.

I skipped to the taxi and thinking my excitement must surely be contagious this festive season I sang out a cheerful hello to the taxi driver.
It wasn’t contagious.

I tried to get into the taxi on the drivers side only to see the largest man I have ever seen driving the taxi with his seat so far back to accommodate his bulk I couldn’t get in behind him.
I wedged myself into the other seat and settled back for the short journey to St Kilda, closing my eyes for a little eye rest before I arrived . . . .
this was not to be, it started with
“how the hell do I get out of here then”, followed by “which way now” and a few minutes later “whereabouts is it again?” and finally ending in “do you want me to drop you right outside the door?”
Erm Yes if it is not too much trouble Mr Taxi Driver who earns his living taking people to where they have asked to go.
A taxi driver who had no idea where he was going meaning that I had to direct him having only been here a few months, and then wondering aloud if he needed to take me the whole distance of my journey. Brilliant – you wouldn’t get that with London Cabbies! (although to be fair they would just refuse to let you into the taxi at all, let alone take you south of the river) – although at least they know where they are going if you are lucky enough to manage to get in one.

So that’s how the day started. . .
Christmas Party in the middle . . .
Ending with another taxi’s refusal to take me all the way home.

Finishing with a very sore head the next day as I couldn’t drink any water as water mains turned off.
Don’t think I embarrassed husb but couldn’t be sure.

Today I am linking up with Essentially Jess for I Blog On Tuesday’s for the last one of the year. Hopefully I will get myself more organised and do it properly next year!

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38 thoughts on “Note to self – Tidy up my knickers!

  1. The mother experiment on said:

    Oh dear that sounds terrible. Absolutely terrible.

  2. Yup – the alcohol helped after I got there finally though, just not the next morning!

  3. I’d have called it quits and just not gone! I find getting ready to go out the worst part of the day – when it goes well!! Forget all those problems chucked in, too! Glad you had a nice time in the end though. I was a bit worried with this heading, you’d ignored my rules for work Christmas parties (though I gave you a pass from them, didn’t I?) and flashed your knickers at the party!!

  4. Oh my! It’s always the way though isn’t it? You finally get a chance to go out and it feels like the universe conspires against you to stop it from happening. At least you got there in the end.

    Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses #teamIBOT

  5. Oh no! I would have had a break down. I am sure your husband would have been very proud to have you there. Rachel x

    • I nearly did have a breakdown, I don’t think I made quite the entrance I was aiming to with my Monica hair and sweaty back from all the rushing around. Husb has to be proud no matter what it’s the law!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. It’s always the way! I rarely go out or do anything exciting but you can guarantee some sort of disaster if I do! xx

    • Nothing ever goes smoothly does it โ€“ thatโ€™s why in my opinion a nice cup of tea and โ€˜Homelandโ€™ on TV is much less stressful and less prone to disaster! Glad there is someone else out there like me

  7. I live in fear of pending hang over due to not drinking enough water! That’s a nightmare of Hitchcockesque proportions for me!

    • Oh but you are so right to be scared! I can’t believe I wasn’t prepared . . . don’t make the same mistake I did – emergency water by the bed at ALL times. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  8. Wow! What an adventure! I hope the Christmas party was fun!

  9. Hehee about the knickers, I find it impossible to get ready for anything with my 18 month old awake. I tend to get ready for the day at 5am after the newborns feed and then wear a dressing gown to keep myself protected from sticky fingers!

    • I really should get up earlier as well and do it all before he is awake, but it is just too hard I am not a morning person, and while I only have one I am making the most of the reasonable morning starts! Much respect to you for a) having more than one and b)getting up at 5am! Very impressive. ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Oh, taxi driver fail!
    And yep, I’ve failed to water-hydrate whilst drinking many a time, too!! I hope you had a good time, all the same.
    When we moved house last, a (male) acquaintance of ours helped us out and when we moved the bed, it revealed a bright red g-string (ahh, that’s where it went!) had been wedged under it. I spent a fair chunk of time reiterating it was clean, as I felt it was important he knew that.
    (It was clean, by the way. Really.)

    • HAAAAAAAAAAAA! That is the funniest thing ever. Take solace that it was some sexy lace g string panties and not some greying old granny pants. (Not that I am saying mine were the latter!) Arghhh Digging a hole going now! ๐Ÿ˜‰
      BTW you should write a post about the G String – I’d read it!!!!!!!!

  11. EssentiallyJess on said:

    I’m sorry, but this sounds absolutely hilarious!! I’d like to see pics though of your Monica hair

  12. No Christmas party is ever really complete without a disaster of some sort! Happy holidays!

  13. That first drink at the Xmas party must have been so very, very sweet.

  14. Hell yes and the other 43 that followed. I can still taste the bubbles dancing on my tongue. x

  15. I hate it when that happens, ruins the whole vibe you had going in your head.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog earlier, much appreciated! And can I just say, I love a girl who references Friends so casually so you are on my watch list now!

  16. No problem, I really enjoyed reading your blog and I will definitely be back to yours too. ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. Jayne on said:

    Oops! The rest of the Christmas period will seem like a walk in the park after your day!

  18. Oh, wow! What an ordeal! I’ve never had a situation where I couldn’t switch a tap off. I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done.
    And no water to cure a hangover? Ouch!

  19. I was very lucky my neighbours dad could switch the mains off otherwise I may have had to forfeit the Christmas party all together – which may have been the best thing considering the lack of water/hangover situation the next day!

  20. Little Z waving my knickers in full view of someone is one of my worst fears. He has a bit of an obsession with our washing machine so I’m always worried he’s going to pull them out of the wash. Hope you enjoyed the Christmas party.,,,that cabbie driver sounds awful!! and then wondering out loud about letting you out before you’re even near home…!!

    • It’s my own fault, I shouldn’t have left them lying about, I have no one to blame but me! Christmas Party was really good (I think) apart from taxi driver deciding on our way home that he was ‘too busy’ to take me the whole way.
      Merry Christmas!

  21. Haha I love this. I was in a similar situation- running around the garden/driveway of our flat in a towel because the neighbour who had just moved out next door turned OFF the water to our house instead of her own. I was trying to get ready for a party as well. Finally got my act together and did my “Dear Santa”. Thought I would send you the link. Thanks!

    http://ducklovesrooster.blogspot.com.au/2012/12/christmas-wishes.html?m=0

  22. Oh wow, what a fiasco! Had to laugh about the taxi driver. You are right – London black cabbies always know the way. As for London mini cabs however – very different story! Glad you made it to the party.

  23. A night to remember … or forget … Happy Christmas anyway – it’s lucky these events don’t come around too often.

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