The Melbourne Colonial Tram Car
Before mum and sis arrived Down Under I booked the 3 of us a table on the Colonial Tramcar Restaurant. It is an old colonial era tram that trundles its way around Melb while those on board enjoy a very civilised top notch a la carte dinner. It is just up my mums street so I thought she would really enjoy it. Now you may be wondering why I did not book a table for all 4 of us and include husb, well let me tell you I did try.
His response being that it is really not his type of thing and he would babysit while the 3 of us went. So yes he would rather spend the evening in sole charge of one exhuberant toddler and 1 small baby all by himself. He really must dislike this kind of thing. I should have known really as I remember when we went to Paris we booked a ‘romantic’ dinner river cruise along the Seine (well I booked it thinking he would like it). During dinner there was a lovely atmosphere on board and the nice French photographer asked us to pose for a lovely couply romantic photo. I was only too happy to oblige, husb however had had enough by shot number 6 and in no uncertain terms told the frenchman to ‘do one’ while I was stood up about to sit on husbs knee as directed. Upon husbs insistance French photographer duly ‘did one’ and I shuffled embarrassed back to my seat.
So, you see that sort of thing is really not husbs cup of tea and keen to avoid the same sort of incident again this time I was only too happy for him to stay at home and look after the babbas while us girls went for our night out.
I was unusually prepared for the evening and had booked a taxi to take us to the tram stop as it was a ridiculously hot 38 Degrees so I didnt fancy getting the train into town and having to walk to our destination. I booked the taxi to pick us up 45 mins before we needed to be there to ensure there was no rushing around, I told mum and sis that the taxi was coming 10 mins earlier than it actually was to work in last minute faffing time and I thought that I had it all covered. Until we were all ready and waiting to go and after 15 mins of waiting for the taxi there was a dawning realisation that it was not going to arrive. So far during my time in Melbourne I have not had the best experience of taxis in Melbourne generally. Hereand here
Anyway after phoning them and being told that despite my booking the taxi I actually hadn’t booked the taxi at all and despite my receiving a text message off them saying that they were 5 mins away that in fact I didn’t receive a text and surely must have been imagining it because they weren’t 5 mins away because I hadn’t booked it. Hmmm
After arguing with stupid taxi people I realised that this was not going to magic a taxi up for us so husb made the executive decision to give us a lift so that we wouldn’t miss the tram.
We all ran to the monster truck and piled inside, the Bear in just his nappy was rather bemused to be chucked into his car seat and wasn’t afraid to let everyone know about it. Nephew was also a little perturbed by the whole thing especially as it was his bedtime, so he followed the Bears lead and together they screamed in imperfect harmony. All this happening while husb ducked and weaved in and out of the rush hour Melbourne traffic. I frantically watched the minutes tick by on the clock as we got caught in yet another set of ridiculously long traffic lights as we waiting impatiently for them to turn green, which they seemed to take an age to do.
All the while mum and sis in the back of the car trying to keep the Bear entertained by belting out random Cbeebies tunes in weird high pitched voices.
With 1 minute to go we reached the street that the tram stop was on and stopped in stationary traffic. It wasn’t heading anywhere and I was getting frantic as I had paid for it already and if the tram left then we wouldn’t be able to re book without paying again. Stressing out was an understatement.
I abandoned all hope of catching it and a solitary tear slipped down my cheek quickly evaporating in the heat as we sat unmoving in the traffic.
Husb then came up with the bright idea that we could maybe just maybe still make it if we got out and ran to the tram stop. Mum was hardly enamoured by this idea being in her snazziest threads and being mother to 3 chidlren all over the age of 30, but as this was our only hope we clambered out of the car. I must point out at this stage that due to the 2 child car seat situation in the back seat, I had to open the boot and sis had to clamber out of the boot while the 2 male drivers behind looked on in amusement as sis unwittingly flashed her ample knockers to them.
They further looked on in a mixture of surprise and horror as they then watched the 3 of us leg it, high heels and all down the street. I sprinted on ahead in the 38 Degree heat and my heart sank as I reached the tram stop and realised that it wasn’t there, slowing down to a walk trying to get my breath back.
Until . . . . . .until as I rounded the corner, there glistening in the evening sun were 3 gleaming burgundy Colonial Tram Cars. Maybe we could make it after all, with renewed vigour I sprinted round the tram car ready to lay myself on the tram tracks to stop them leaving until mum and sis arrived, thankfully (I didn’t want to dirty my outfit) this was not necessary as I coughed and sputtered out my name and some profanities about Melbourne taxis and sis and mum came up behind. The Colonial Tram Car staff were really lovely and said not to worry at all and led us up the tram steps to our gorgeous table in the tram car. No sooner had we sat down then the tram trundled off, thank goodness we made it – very sweaty and dishevelled and looking a bit mentally deranged to the other diners as we made our way down the carriage but we made it.
As we trundled off I saw husb drive past and we all manically waved at him forgetting that the windows were tinted leading to us looking even more unhinged, as he drove on by completely oblivious.
The Colonial Tram Car was a really brilliant experience, the staff were attentive and really lovely, the food was beautiful and we saw some lovely Melbourne sights around the city as we enjoyed our meal. I would totally recommend it to anyone who is heading to Melbourne, it was fabulous. (Maybe you could even go with your partner like normal people and enjoy a lovely romantic experience – note to husb: they don’t try and take your picture)
These were all our own work!
We made the most of our night out when we disembarked and took in some bars on the Yarra river. We also headed to the Crown casino complex and I also took them to a funky rooftop bar in the city called Palmz @the Carlton. You had to climb the stairway to heaven to get there but it was worth it.