Blogging from Down Under

To party or not to party.

It was the Bears Birthday last week and I made a totally Thomastastic cake. Don’t worry, it was a week ago so I won’t dwell on the day and what we did.

No, instead, I will dwell on what we didn’t do.
It was his 2nd birthday and we . . . . . .
didn’t throw him a party.

Does that make me a bad mother?

There was no big fanfare reason about why we didn’t, we just didn’t.
I thought, that as he was only 2 and he doesn’t really have buddies yet preferring instead to be the strong silent type playing with his trains and letting the other kids flock to his mating call of ‘choo choo’ rather than approach anyone himself. It didn’t really make sense to have a party for a load of kids he doesn’t really know.
A lot of his little ‘pals’ (well mine really), were not actually around anyway on his birthday, so it just seemed to make sense not to have a big shindig.


And we were are happy with our decision.

We are.

No really we are.

It did all get a little bit awkward in the run up to the big day though. People kept asking me where his party was going to be, and what the ‘theme’ was. Seriously anyone who has seen my attempt at a Thomas Cake will know that even if there had been a theme at my non existent party – nobody would have been able to work out what it was in any event.

It was just widely presumed that as it was my child’s birthday that of course I would be holding a party. No one even considered the possibility that there would be no party.
This conversation repeated itself on a good few occasions, each question the same, where was the party? When was the party? And as happy as I was with my decision I found myself attempting to come up with excuses that were somehow legitimate enough to satisfy these people who I don’t really know that well that actually I AM a good mother and yes I DO love my child, but no, I am just not throwing a party.
Each encounter left me feeling more guilty that in not throwing a party I have somehow failed my child.

Things reached a head when one of the mums I was talking to casually handed me an envelope after I had stumbled over our reasons for a partyless birthday. My heart sank as I saw a brightly coloured party invite complete with magnet to keep it on the fridge lest you forget the day or to buy a present.
There in bright bold writing was the Bears invitation to a Mexican themed 3rd Birthday party of a child he has no interaction with at all.
There is even a bloody pinyata/pinyada?/ piñata? (how do you actually spell it? I think it is one of those donkey things everyone that everyone has to bash).
I mean how do you compete with one of those?

His birthday ended up being pretty darned good though, we had a lovely morning, opening his presents with just our little family. Well including, nanny and grandad who are visiting at the moment, oh and also not to exclude Nainy and Auntie on Skype as well, oh and not to miss out, Great Auntie, Great Uncle, and Great Nan on the other Skype. As I said, a small intimate present opening affair.

That was followed by spending the day together and taking a trip out for the afternoon with Nanny and Grandad.

Personally I think THAT is much better than throwing some stupid party for a load of children I don’t know (and have everyone laugh at my cake efforts).

And do you know what? . . . . I don’t even care.
. . . . .
actually I sort of do.

Will he be scarred for life on the basis of not having a 2nd birthday party?

Have I failed him?

What the hell is a piñata, and how do you spell it?


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4 thoughts on “To party or not to party.

  1. I don’t think your son will be affected at all by not having a 2nd birthday party. You have many years ahead of you to decide when to have parties. I’m totally over them, and I didn’t throw that many and my children are only 11 and 12!

  2. Thank you! I hate that it all starts so young and there is this expectation that you will be throwing a party and if you don’t then you are weird. Seems a bit of an excuse to get a load more presents in my view. I’m over them too and I’ve not done any yet!
    Thanks for commenting Cathy.

  3. Rita Azar on said:

    I think each of his own and you are the best person in the world who know what’s best for your child. People will always have something to say: if you do a big party, they will tell you it’s useless, if you do a small one, they will make you feel guilty. I think with birthdays, a small celebration is enough.

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