With the results of the MAD Blog Awards not being announced until September, yes that’s right September (at an all singing all dancing, star studded awards ceremony) but still not until September! I have been trying to take my mind off it all by keeping myself busy so that I don’t have time to think about it.
In my efforts to keep busy I have tried a few new things and stuck with some old ones.
Number 1. My dismal attempt at yoga.
Let’s just say, it didn’t work out and leave it there. However, if you would like to read more about my yoga experience along with some unhandy pointers on how to do it properly then you can find it here.
Number 2. Zumba.
‘Ditch the workout – join the party‘ goes the tagline.
All well and good if you have the latina moves of Jennifer Lopez, the sultry looks of Penelope Cruz and the swinging hips of Shakira Shakira!! (Sing it sister).
Well after putting my scepticism aside I ‘joined the party’.
I gotta tell you Shakira, my hips DO lie, they lie to me twice a week and quite how you can shimmy around flaunting yours for all and sundry, well frankly Shak (can I call you Shak?) well it disgusts me. Admittedly purely due to my jealousy, but it disgusts me none the less).
Co-ordination is not my middle name and I have been ‘partying’ for long enough now that the people in my class know not to come too close to me in case they get an elbow in their head or an inadvertent kick in the shins as I throw myself to the left as everyone else in the class shimmies to the right in perfect unison. As I keep on ‘partying’ for an hour I move my hips to the hypnotic beat like they’re someone elses hips, I gave myself a spot of whiplash the other day as I shook my thang for all it was worth, I nearly gave myself a hernia as I chest pumped to the latest tunes. Not to mention how I managed to trip over my own legs as I try to keep up with the hot salsa beats. The moves change so fast that by the time I am almost with the rest of the class on it moves to something else.
I wouldn’t mind but Mr Zumba teacher actually points and laughs at me from the stage as he leads the class, shimmying and shaking, his snake hips whirling around so fast and he takes great glee in displaying my ineptitude for the whole class to see.
I am persevering with Zumba though, everyone always talks about how much fun it is so I think that at some point it will also become fun for me.
I live in unco-ordinated hope. Which brings me on to. .
Number 3. Boxing
I have taken up boxing to try and deal with the pent up aggression that roars through my veins on a daily basis. I really thought I would be good at this one. I arrived ready and raring to go.
Sparring gloves – Check
Sparring Pads – Check
Weird strappy inner glove things that make you look like a proper boxer (unless they’re bright pink) – Check
I was early, I was ‘p’ to the ‘umped’ and I was ready to go.
I was gonna show these Aussies what for, they weren’t gonna know what hit em.
Were they ready for the power that is the Melbernator (me!). I got my teeth guards on, I collected my padded helmet and I shadow boxed while waiting for the class to start, jab jab upper, swipe, hook, jab, cross I was on fire!
GRRRRRRRRR Don’t go messing with me.
. . . . . And then the class began.
Everyone filed into the room , on went their gloves and they starting doing that skipping thing they do in martial arts movies, criss crossing and jumping so fast I couldn’t actually see their feet at one point. I stood around watching, while trying not to look horrified at the action before me, and shuffled about a bit so it looked like I was also warming up.
Then with no warning at all, everyone coupled up and just started punching each other, while I stood there like a lemon. Eventually the teacher took pity on me and she partnered me. Which was all the more horrendous as she was the teacher and made me go on stage with her to show everyone the moves.
Worse still I managed a couple of rounds before she broke me and dismissed me to go and box the bag on my own in the corner.
That set the scene for the rest of the class really. No one said a word to me, no one wanted to partner me and every so often the teacher would summon me and make me go with her to do some horrendous punching exercise until my lungs were bleeding.
A particular favourite was when she made me lie down and then stood on my feet so that I couldn’t get away and made me do 7000 sit up punches while everyone watched. I really enjoyed that bit.
By the end of the class, I was broken in both body and soul.
Next on the keeping myself busy agenda is
Number 4. TRX Suspension Training.
This one handily takes place at the same time as the boxing class so I had to avoid the boxing teacher to try this one out. TRX suspension training sounds horrendous, and I can confirm that it is every bit as horrendous as it sounds. Plus a bit more.
I tried this one yesterday. It started out innocuously enough, we did a bit of cardio running up and down stairs then it was straight on to the good stuff. There were suspension push ups (oww), suspension lunges and suspension planks among other things. All quite hideous at the best of times but when there are a group of gymnastic kids about 10 years old, actually heckling, it kind of puts you off.
In between their backward somersaults into pike with a head stand at the end they were shouting over how easy it was, they could do it with one hand etc. I tell you what I would have gone right on over there and given those young upstarts a piece of my mind if I hadn’t got myself tangled in the suspension rope and tripped over it as I tried to get my foot out, while falling into the poor lady next to me and knocking my drink over. Those whippersnappers had a lucky getaway.
Jury still out on TRX.
Last but not least
Number 5. Running
An oldie but a goodie.
As well as chasing the ever elusive PB at parkrun (which, by the way seems to be getting harder and harder). Husb has
made me gently encouraged me, to sign up for a 14K trail run in May. Just 6 weeks away. He has prepared me a training plan spreadsheet with weekly goals, handily cross referenced with routes, divided by distance over time with a cherry on top. He likes excel!! (Actually come to think of it I am supposed to be on a designated training run right now!)
So there we have it, a few little things to keep me occupied until September.
I’m knackered – it’s all your fault MAD Blog Awards!!