theonlywayismelbourne

Blogging from Down Under

Facebook fatigue.

A close Facebook friend of mine recently told me that they were thinking of coming off Facebook as they were fed up of it. At the time we were chatting I didn’t think too much about it apart from being sad that I wouldn’t be able to keep in touch in the same way that we had before.

This was until a couple of days ago when I was scanning through my Facebook feed first thing in the morning so I can catch up on any overnight goings on from my friends in the Northern Hemisphere when I was confronted by the sickest thing I have ever seen.

It was a picture of what appeared to be a naked dead baby laying on the grass.
Yes you read that correctly.
It was accompanied by a story about the baby being abandoned and the usual crap that these horrendous images have – you know the drill.
‘Like if you think baby killing is wrong(!) Ignore if you don’t have a heart’ or something along those lines- I am paraphrasing.

The thing was I don’t know if that would have even come into my news feed at all had it not been for the fact that a number of my FB friends had commented on it.
Am I alone in thinking that posting pictures of dead babies is distasteful at the very least and absolutely appallingly disgusting at worst?

I just don’t understand the motivation behind posting an image so shocking and horrendous, and for what?
The sake of a few thousand ‘likes’ from people you don’t know? Am I missing something here?

imageI don’t understand people who then comment on these things either, even if it is just to say it is wrong and should be taken down (I don’t know if that is what was said as I didn’t stick around to read the tens of thousands of comments). But even if it was, isn’t that giving the poster of the vile thing just the oxygen they want? The more comments they get the more people will see? Is that how it works? And to what end?
Surely the best thing to do would be to ignore it all together and report it privately to FB instead of feeding the thread into a bigger and bigger monster.

I don’t know where these pictures have come from, I don’t know if they are genuine pictures of what they say that they portray but I do know that either way something like that should not be on a social networking site in my opinion.

After the shock of seeing such a horrendous image it got me to thinking about the whole Facebook phenomenon as a whole and how it can be abused so badly.
Does anyone remember the picture of a young girl called ‘Mallory’ who
‘didn’t think she was beautiful’ ‘like if you think she is’etc?
Turns out that the picture was not of a girl called ‘Mallory’ at all it was an image of a girl posted without the permission of the girls parents and the ‘story’ behind it was a complete load of hogwash. Yet people are still liking and commenting on these spammers that invade my newsfeed.

Besides being so shocked at some of the inappropriate sponsored things I see in my newsfeed all too often including links to porn sites with graphic pictures popping up unbidden. I am fed up of having to wade my way through this tidalwave of crap to catch up with what my friends on the other side of the world are up to.

Don’t get me wrong I like Facebook as a tool for keeping in touch with people that you perhaps wouldn’t necessarily have before and that’s why I use it.
The irony of the fact that this post will be read mostly by people who have seen it in my Facebook feed is not lost on me either. I know how good it can be, but am I alone in getting tired of all the rest of the rubbish that goes with it?

Perhaps due to the rise in the amount of sponsored pages and links that keep popping up in my feed, I am seeing less and less of the things, the people that actually matter to me, the things that I actually want to see. Being on the other side of the world I WANT to know whats happening with my friends back home, I WANT to hear about the little trivialities and minutiae in their lives as well as the big events that happen, so I don’t feel so far away. I DON’T want to know how to lose belly fat in 3 days. (I’m having a baby I’m pretty sure that will lose me some belly fat-I hope!).

There are many other things that I could mention while I am on my soapbox but this post is already in danger of turning into ‘war and peace’ as it is so I will just say one last teeny tiny thing.
If you don’t want to be FB friends with someone then just de-friend them instead of continuing to be friends and then blocking all access to you. What is the point, if you don’t want someone to see stuff about you – ask yourself are you really their friend?
Chances are they probably feel the same about you so suck it up and move on! *

image

Disclaimer* To all my FB friends I sincerely love each and every one of you and would walk over hot coals for you- please don’t de-friend me!! 😉

So tell me, am I alone in getting tired of it? Or am I taking it all too seriously and need to chill out? Does anyone else feel like this? Anything else to add to the list?

Hit me. (Not literally)

Linking up with Grace because it’s Friday and I’m a floggin.

Both images courtesy of Master isolated images at FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

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30 thoughts on “Facebook fatigue.

  1. Rhian I totally agree …… I am at the stage when I see people’s names on Facebook that I keep scrolling because I know it will be junk that’s posted or some crap that’s been liked!! I am weak for not deleting these people but every now & again I’m interested in what they’ve got to say (ps you are not one if these people!!!) love you lots xxx

    • Ha 🙂 glad you clarified that Janine!
      It is not that I don’t like people liking all the stuff that comes up, it is their Facebook feed after all and completely up to them what they want to engage with or not, I just don’t understand why I have to see it all in mine ALL THE TIME!
      I really don’t have a problem with people liking this stuff if they want to that’s up to them and as you say it doesn’t mean I don’t want to be friends with them, I just don’t need to see.
      I just don’t get why people accept people as a friend then proceed to ensure they can’t see anything about them at all. Why bother? If it is to show you have thousands of friends – who cares!
      I worry for all the young kids on Facebook who see all the distasteful sponsored rubbish that we don’t seem to have any control over as well.
      Oh, look at me I’m ranting again – this could be a whole other post! X

      • Hehe!!!! I think that it is a rant that we could all go on about & my biggest bug bear is the “like this & somebody will live who is terminally ill” “like this or you don’t care about cancer””like this & you will cure cancer” AS IF we can make a difference by hitting “the like” button!! If we could then bugger me I could be a doctor!!!!! Anyway it’s good to see we’re all in the same mind set over this ……. X

  2. Russ on said:

    Exactly the reason I came off Facebook a year ago. Its only getting worse (I’d imagine)

  3. Julie burrows on said:

    Ay ay captain. I love (not just like) the fact I have spoken more to you this year than in the last ten. But the commands to like this if you have a heart things are getting ridiculous. I particularly would like to complain about the shocking lack of basic grammar and spelling skills in this nation. I see poor basic errors so often, I now have to double check everything. For example, in the above sentence, second clause in, I was tempted to spell ‘now’ as ‘know’!! I saw that in my mind’s eye!! We all have spelling wobbles, but at the level of spelling words like onamatopea! (which no doubt is spelt wrong!!!) but not ‘ooh, I should of….’ anyway, this is making me want to quit Facebook. Apologies for using your rant to add my rant on!

    • Not a problem, it’s what I am here for Jules – consider me therapy (only cheaper).
      Rant away!
      BTW – Very glad that we are in touch too. . . .Now why don’t you make like a tree and get outta here!!!!

  4. Hi, I don’t seem to get that sort of thing in my personal feeds (thankfully), though I do tire of some of the endless selfies some friends take of themselves. Why do we need to see photos of themselves, on a weekly basis – not doing anything – just close ups? Its very narcissistic behaviour. I just don’t get that!

    • Yep, I don’t really understand the constant selfies either. I wonder why you don’t get all of the rubbish in your feed – I wonder if I have my settings wrong perhaps. I am going to investigate to try and slim down the amount of spammy stuff I get.

  5. Oh, don’t start me on Facebook (agree with everything you said). I get that it’s a great way to stay in touch but I really don’t understand the whole ‘like’ thing. It turns every post into a measure of your popularity. It’s so unnecessary. I can’t imagine what it’s like for teenagers.

  6. You are absolutely not alone in getting tired out it all. My partner and I both closed down our facebook accounts over two years ago now and haven’t looked back. I wanted to keep my relationships as ‘real’ as possible and I knew that those who were my real friends would make the effort to stay in touch with me through texting, phoning, emailing and *gasp* letter writing. It was a shock to discover how many people forgot that I even existed after I disappeared from facebook, but at least I know now who are genuine friends and who are not. As for posting pictures of dead babies, that is absolutely vile and stomach turning. The irony between clicking a ‘like’ button and not doing so ‘if you don’t have a heart’ baffles me. How can anyone view an image like that and ‘like’ it? And generally speaking, why does everyone feel the need to tell the entire world every single thing that they like that they have ever seen, heard or experienced? So many things are cheapened by rating them in terms of facebook likes. Although in some ways I feel like I’m totally off the bandwagon being a blogger who doesn’t have facebook, at least that’s one element I never have to worry about – I can’t compare my blog ‘likes’ to anybody elses, and I am fine with that. It helps me focus on what is more important about blogging, to me anyway: writing, creating and building relationships. Thanks for this post. It’s refreshing to know someone shares my opinion!

    • Absolutely Lizzy, I think you have hit the nail on the head when you say that the whole ‘like’ thing cheapens things. It is so easy to hit that button that I think that half the time people almost do it on automatic pilot without really looking at what they are liking.
      As for real friends versus FB friends I completely agree with your viewpoint on it.
      I am glad that the post reasonated with you. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

  7. Gosh I am in total agreement with you. It is awful that images like that would be put on Facebook, regardless of the reason why. And yes sponsored posts drive me a little crazy too! Still I do love seeing all the posts from my friends and blogs I follow! Thanks for the great post.

    • Yes that’s the conundrum isn’t it, and my friends and family on the other side of the world is the reason why I am still on it and I sift through all of the rubbish to ensure that I am in touch with them.
      It is an easy and very quick way of connecting with people which is good but the rest of it I could really do without.

  8. There is a really ugly side to the internet – you really have to wonder what goes thru peoples heads. My bugbear is the ‘doing status updates to raise awareness’. It’s just making yourself feel good by doing nothing. Give some money. Volunteer. Do something. FB status don’t do anything. (I would also add is there anyone on the planet over the age of 5 that hasn’t heard of breast cancer??)

    • Absolutely Lydia I couldn’t agree more I was going to say the same in my post but it would have been about 5 pages long. There are so many things that are ugly like you say.

  9. I have se this horrific post and had to hide I also noticed a few friends had commented or liked WHY????? I always research any new post that does not seem right as there a lots of scams going around on Facebook, sometimes people are too gullible with this sort of thing. Great post !

    • Thanks Sarah – exactly the question I ask, why?
      I think part of the problem is that it is so quick and easy to hit the like button that it can be done without even thinking too much about it.
      Thanks for commenting.

  10. Oh wow great timing Rhian! I’ve been distancing myself from Facebook more and more recently and it’s been almost like coming off a bit of a drug of sorts. No, I wasn’t on there constantly but there was a lot of interaction that I did enjoy. I’m in my 40’s so the immature games is beyond me. I have friends of all ages. And the “I will like your post as long as you like mine…” Umm…I believe that was in high school wasn’t it? And the post that tell me to Share. Don’t tell me. I will Share it if I choose to. And posting a picture of a dead baby is very inappropriate. I would not have been pleased. And had to magnified for you ten fold being pregnant. I’m sorry you saw that. Lastly, is the fact of how much more I’m getting done in the other aspects of my life w/o now! Great post and great time….thank you for making me feel I’m not the only one who is fatigued too! 🙂

    • Thanks for your comment Mike, it is good to know that others share my view. The baby picture was particularly shocking I must say especially as it is the last thing you would expect or want to see first thing in the morning. You are right though, FB can be addictive too which is why I haven’t come off it yet, I do like the aspect of being in touch with the other side of the world.
      It’s definitely a tough one that’s for sure.

  11. I find Facebook to be full of people who type before they think. Not friends, just exactly the kind of people who would post an image of a dead baby.

    It’s only recently occurred to me that I could simply ‘Unlike’ the pages that are clogging my feed. It’s been weirdly liberating to do so. Like a weight off my mind.

    Sounds silly, since it is only Facebook we’re talking about. But so many relationships are maintained via Facebook that there is a whole responsibility and obligation towards being on there, for me at least.

    Don’t even get me started on Ebay or Pinterest or Twitter….

  12. That is exactly how I feel too, there are so many people that I enjoy being in touch with on it. The things that I am seeing in my feed are not from pages that I have liked which is why I don’t understand why I keep seeing it all the time. I think I need to re-look at my privacy settings and see if there is some way I can at least reduce the spammy stuff I get.
    As for twitter, pinterest etc, if I used those more often I think I would probably feel the same as you too!
    Thanks for commenting.

  13. I’m nodding my head to nearly all the comments here as well as your post! Why oh why do people take part in those chains – I report all the really offensive images and have started to just simply hide my friends who like them – at least then it’s off my feed. But seriously I don’t know how I’d keep in touch – it’s lazy – but so many of my friends are on there and organise events, or groups or catchups etc on there…it’s the use of it from a community stance that I think gives it such power – which in turn is abused…don’t know the answer but not quite ready to part ways…

  14. I’m nodding in agreement as I read. A couple of years ago, a very dear friend of mine had some photos of her precious baby daughter who had been stillborn stolen from a pregnancy loss site she had started to support other loss families. They popped up on Facebook in the most vile manner – her baby girl in her coffin with a caption implying that she’d died from drug abuse. My poor friend was devastated, and ever since then, having seen the human cost of these seemingly harmless shares, I report, report, report.

    • Oh my goodness Emma that is absolutely horrendous, how truly horrific for your poor friend. How and why do people do this sort of stuff it is truly disgusting isn’t it.
      I will most certainly be reporting from now on this sort of stuff just should not be allowed.
      Thanks for commenting.

      • It truly was, and the saddest part is that she then felt compelled to protect herself (and her daughter’s memory) by removing all the pics from her website, the whole purpose for which was to create a community for bereaved parents 😦

  15. Do you find it funny how you can be friends with someone on Facebook, but if you saw them down the street they probably wouldn’t talk to you or walk past you without saying anything. I agree with you totally. I love FB in the way I can catchup with friends both here and overseas, and for getting in touch with people. But I don’t need to see sad stories about babies being killed or read about a parent who has killed their child, or see vulgar pornographic images popping up.

    I have customised my feeds so I only see updates from close friends, and have setup lists for other family and friends. I know some people who love to moan & groan about anything and everything, and I just got to the point of “do I need to really need to read this” so limited the updates from them.

    Popping by FYBF.

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