P R E G N A N C Y
P – is for pelvic floor.
Or lack of, pregnancy is a serious loss of dignity isn’t it. You’ve got the first trimester when for some hormonal reason you need to pee 24/7. You are then told that you will have a second trimester respite until the third trimester arrives when you will again need to pee 24/7. Respite? Ha, this didn’t happen for me.
I have been known to have a pretty unimpressive bladder anyway, take me skiing and once I’ve got all the gear on I can guarantee that I will need to take it all off again to go for a wee before we leave the chalet. Then when we reach the top of the mountain I will again need to find a suitable spot to de-robe completely again, in order to go for a ‘pre emptive’ wee before heading halfway down the mountain and realising that once at the bottom I will need to go yet again due to all the bouncing around on the snow at speed.
So you see even without a babys head pressed down into my bladder, I do struggle with the pee situation.
Which all leads to the situation I am in, in that I didn’t have the ‘dry’ second trimester as is described by the experts, no I have needed to pee on average every 35 seconds since I took my pregnancy test all the way back in April. That is a lot of wee! Just saying.
It would also seem that almost as soon as you find out that you are pregnant, your pelvic floor muscles seem to take it as carte blanche to just go on right ahead and as Frankie says …. Reeeeeeelax Nooooooooooooo don’t relax, get stressed pelvic floor muscles, be all tight and angry please, so that I don’t have to cross my legs every time, I sneeze or cough. Oh you’re not in the mood ! Brilliant – well there goes a fulfilling sex life (whisper it you never know who’s reading!) for the rest of my life. Faboosh! (Sorry if you’re offended by the S E X word, but lets be honest, you know I’ve done it at least twice!). Moving on . . . .
R- is for Reflux
Now I didn’t have this with the Bear at all until probably a week before he was born and even then it wasn’t too bad. I remember at the time the other soon to be mums in my group talking about how they all had it and wasn’t it horrendous as they compared possible remedies. I remember wishing a little bit that I had it so that I could join in the ailments conversation and not feel left out, but instead I had to be all Bridget Jones and attempt to laugh and moan in all the right places, I don’t think I was very convincing.
No such problems with this pregnancy. Throughout the whole pregnancy I have had the worst case of reflux ever, that anyone in the world has ever had, mine is worse (obviously). If I am not waking up repeatedly in the night in order to empty my rapidly filling bladder I am instead being woken up by the vile burning taste of vomit sitting at the back of my throat, waking me up to avoid vomiting all over slumbering husb. (Bless em they have it tough do the husbands don’t they).
E – is for Exhaustion
Like total extreme exhaustion, I don’t know what’s the matter with me, well I do I’m pregnant but you know what I mean. Never have I felt the need to not just nap but full on deep sleep in the middle of the day before. Do you know how long this post has taken to write! I sit down to write something witty and amusing only to be struck down by what feels like a severe case of narcolepsy. No matter what time I go to bed, I wake up exhausted and sleep deprived to the point that it feels like I haven’t actually woken up at all. So I go through the morning in a dreamlike state until I sit down on the sofa at lunchtime and fall asleep again. Only to repeat the whole sorry thing the next day.
———BREAK TAKEN FOR A LITTLE SLEEP——–
123 I’m back in the room.
G – is for Ginormous Boobs
So ginormous they deserve a capital B. I mean really it is now getting to the point of ridiculous proportions. I look like LoLo blimmin Ferrari and this is what they are like now before the feeding starts. I seem to remember having breasts 3 times the size of the Bears head at one point. I can only assume that this will happen again. Not in a good way though, no one tells you that apart from the sheer voluminous volume of these boys, they are also very veiny and so so sore that it hurts to even put your bra on, so they are left hanging there with no support, so heavy that you can almost feel the skin being pulled to the point of no return so they just rest on your beach ball like belly. A mans fantasy? Perhaps not!
N- is for Nausea
But of course it is, linked pretty much to the whole reflux thing too. I felt so ill for a good 16-18 weeks in the first stages, but was I offered the sweet relief of actually being sick to ease the rolling stomach and sweats even just temporarily until the next wave hits? – no I wasn’t. Just a constant feeling like I wanted to be sick, lurching between feeling so hungry that I thought I was going to be sick, to eating something small to try to ease it, to then feeling like I had eaten a 10 course meal and was so stuffed I thought I was going to be sick, with nothing in between. I was granted a couple of weeks of relief from this in my second trimester but it appears to now be back with a vengeance. It does seem to get worse when I am watching ‘The Walking Dead’ actually, but that may be down to my choice of TV viewing more than anything else.
A- is for Aches
Everywhere, absolutely everywhere. I’m talking, head, bum, back, leg, belly. Think of a body part and I can pretty much guarantee you I have at some point during my pregnancy ached there. I even had ankle ache the other day, though I think that was down to wearing high heels to the Melbourne Cup. How those darned celebrities do it, I will never know. My back ache the other day was so bad I thought I was going into early labour.
N- is for Nose
More specifically blocked nose but there is no B in pregnancy! Has anyone had this or is it just me? Apparently it is a real symptom, I haven’t been able to breathe in properly for 8 months, especially at night when you just want to take a good old long deep breath to get to sleep and instead end up with your mouth open dribbling all over your pillow. It’s a good job husb loves me.
C – is for Cankles
I’m very much hoping this one is temporary because I am not loving the whole ankles being the same size as thighs situation. We are heading into summer, I simply cannot have this situation occur, it just won’t do.
Y – is for Your turn
You my lovely reader are going to have to think of the last one. I’ve wracked what little brain I have left to come up with a Y to no avail.
Anyone? And while we are about it, do you have any alternatives to these, I had a few for some but had to narrow them down to my personal worst. I’d love to hear yours. Ahhh the miracle of pregnancy eh! 🙂