Blogging from Down Under

One reason I will never be a true Melbournian.

Melbourne is like the epicentre of good coffee in Australia. There is a cafe on pretty much every corner. There are no chain coffee houses in Melbourne (apart from Starbucks but then the only people that are in there are usually tourists.

You really wouldn’t get a true Melbournian drinking Starbucks if their life depended on it.

No, here in Melbourne it is all about the quality of the coffee.

Out of these many cafes and coffee shops in Melbourne, a large proportion of them are ’boutique roasters’ meaning that instead of buying in their coffee they do it themselves. They choose their own beans, make their own blends and roast ‘in house’.

So you see coffee is not just a culture here it is a way of life. If there is anything a Melbournian worth their salt knows – it’s good coffee.

Imagine then, their disgust when in walked I, to my favourite coffee shop, all set for my usual flat white. However as I was queuing I changed my mind and thought I would order something different for a change, you know just to mix things up a bit.

I got to the front of the queue, my new coffee choice made in my head.

The conversation went a little something like this
Barrister – “Morning what can I get you”
Me – “I fancy a change I will have a weak skinny long black please”
Barrister – (confused)”A what?”
Me – (clearing my throat and a little louder this time) that must have been it, he didn’t hear me it was loud in there after all.
“A weak skinny long black please”
Barrister – (beckoning his colleague over with a grin on his face) “Can you say that again?”
Me – (a little louder again and slower this time) – perhaps it was my accent.
“I’ll . Have. A . Weak. Skinny. Long. Blaa . . . . ”

Now they were laughing, they were actually full on laughing their barrister heads off at me.

Then I realised what I was ordering.

(If you are not sure, go back, read it again . . . . . . .

. . . . . . aaaaaaaand there it is!

Next time I’m sticking to a flat white.



Image courtesy of Keerati /



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6 thoughts on “One reason I will never be a true Melbournian.

  1. I still don’t think they should have laughed, snobs, should have just politely corrected you – I would have been a bit miffed! Especially if I had PMS!

  2. Ba ha ha that is absolute gold! Bit like when I lived in the UK & heard the word “minge” for the first time & thought it was cool so started calling everyone that! I mean everyone!! Xxx

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