Blogging from Down Under

It’s been a bad day – please don’t take a picture.

I’m borrowing a few words from REM today because, well, . . . .clues in the title.

If I’m honest it’s been a bad few days but I couldn’t find song lyrics to suit, so just work with me.

I have been feeling pretty low over the last few weeks really, nothing horrendous, just life getting on top of me a bit. It’s hard work this stay at home mum lark.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not  suggesting for a minute that it is any easier being a working mum I am just saying that in my situation as a stay at home mum I’m struggling a bit.

I am tired,

like really tired.

I feel like I can’t keep up the pace for much longer, I am in my own little rat race stuck on a hamster wheel (should that be rat wheel?), that I just can’t get off.

There is no respite – ever.

I love my kids, of course I do but I just feel so drained. Like I need to crawl into bed and sleep and sleep until I start to feel like I’m in control again. Who knows how long I’d need to sleep for.

I fantasise about sitting curled up on the sofa with a hot cup of tea and a good book and actually reading it. My reading currently extends to bills and kinder newsletters (which I have to scan read because one is screaming the place down or the other is demanding snacks or they’re both doing it at the same time) making me just want to go and hide in the corner until either they reach 18 or daddy gets home, whichever is closest, sometimes I have no idea.

And I feel so guilty all the damn time, why can’t I control my child? How am I not able to teach him right from wrong, good from bad without making him cry. Why can’t I have more patience? Why is everyone around me so much better at this than me? Why can’t I juggle playing together, preparing food, snuggling together and keeping a tidy house? I am a stay at home mum after all, it’s my job isn’t it, isn’t this what I am supposed to be devoting my time to – why am I in constant danger of losing my Shizz – all the time.

As I am writing this, the tiny one has just woken up and started crying, she’s only been asleep 15 minutes. The house looks like this . . . .

It was a massacre, as hard as he tried Rex the dino just couldn't save Sophie le Giraffe. Shaun the giant sheep took them all out before breathing his last breath.

It was a massacre, as hard as he tried Rex the dino just couldn’t save Sophie le Giraffe. Shaun the giant sheep took them all out before breathing his last breath.

and I just haven’t got the energy.

Where is my duvet . . . . .


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15 thoughts on “It’s been a bad day – please don’t take a picture.

  1. Thanks for just writing what I have been thinking for a while now. As I write this, I am lying on the sofa trying to get some shut eye, whilst the baby is laying beside me using my nipple as a dummy. I left a play centre today because Miss H was losing her shiz because she was hungry (she’d just eaten lunch). We need a pay rise us SAHM’s! Coffee soon? Xxx

  2. This is so normal, we have all been there and are STILL living this. Some days my kids are out of control and I wonder the same thing. My house is a pigsty but when I clean it it just gets messy again. Slow down a bit, don’t try to do everything, truly. Pick your battles. You have young children that won’t remember if you don’t take them to do exciting things, if the house is a mess or if you can’t be bothered doing things with them. Be kind to you, it’s hard with lots of wee ones, I know. Being a stay at home mum is one of the hardest jobs because you never actually get anywhere, it feels like you’re never achieving anything, but you are. They grow. You just have to not be in a hurry. Hugs and thinking of you xxxx

    • Thanks Em, that’s so true, it is a hard job were you don’t actually get anywhere. Ho hum, I honestly don’t know how you do it, working aswell, and finding time to build up your blog community, the blog seems to have been the first thing to hit the kerb for me. You’re a superstar! X

  3. Oh Rhian I feel for you 😢 Things will get better I promise. Although it also carries on when they get older where it’s constant taking them to clubs & friends, etc but the good thing is that they go to school so you do get a break, and they lie in of a morning!!! I’ve come to the conclusion that when people say are you ok? I say yes I’m fine thank you because after all being a mum means your tired doesn’t it??!! Sending you lots of love, hugs & energy!! Xxxx

    • Thanks Janine – I very much appreciate you telling me that I will have this for the foreseeable, that makes me feel sooooo much better! Hope you guys are all well. Lots of love xxxx

  4. We love you Rhe. You are doing such a great job. Mum will be there soon to help a bit and give you a big love and some support. Hang in there, it will get easier xXx

  5. My house is always a shambles. If there’s ever any time for anything you have to use it for sleep and rest and just do the minimum to keep things afloat. Without help it’s not possible to keep an “ideal homes exhibition” EVER – let alone all the time. Don’t be fooled by the idea of what you think you should be doing. You are doing what you are doing – and you are doing it with so much ove and to the best of your ability. There are only 24 hours in a day, only one of you while husb is away at work and two little demandors (new type of dino) pulling at you and needing you almost every second of the day. Stop putting pressure on yourself and stop feeling guilty. You are a brilliant mum and human being generally. You’re doing a wonderful job. The Bear and Baby-bear will always remember the love and the care that you give them. Discipline is part of that. A necessary part of being a good mum. You are a good mum. This will not last forever X

  6. Of course I mean so much “love” rather than so much “ove” – but you get the general idea ;o)

  7. Love you. It gets better xxxx

  8. Was just thinking of you this morning, and how I hadn’t seen anything from you lately, then came and read this from a couple of weeks ago. How are you? And if you are still not great, have you considered talking to a Dr? I know a lot of people, myself included, who think that feeling tired all the time and like life is getting on top of you is just NORMAL for a mum, and sometimes it is just normal, sometimes it is hormonal…sending you lots of hugs and love. Be kind to you, and please speak to your GP if you don’t think things are improving. xo

    • Thank you! I am ok just letting things get on top of me as usual. I am better just like with anything really, we have our ups and downs. Thank you for taking the time to comment it is nice to know that people are thinking of me, I appreciate it.
      I struggle to keep on top of my blog at the mo as I have a lot of other stuff going on, which is why I don’t blog as often as I did, plus sleep deprivation has left me with very little blogging mojo and major writers block!!
      how are you going? xx

      • I know what you mean about keeping on top of the blog. I have been struggling too. Although now I’m on break from Tuesday tennis and uni for the summer, things feel a lot lighter. Hope things are getting lighter for you too! x

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